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The Curse of Consistency

By Casey Sugarman, Behaviorist

I am a specialist in psychological assessment and rehabilitation in dangerous animals. To get a feel for what it's like to converse with animals about what they believe… imagine a flood of opinions, a loud, heated, back and forth debate; and it's three times faster than Wimbeldon. Although most people do not perceive animals with this degree of focus, I have come to be convinced that it's really not rocket science to learn how to teach your dog, horse, bird, or any other species to come when you need him no matter what… to change his focus… to cease being afraid of xyz… volunteer for things that will help - like traveling in the car or trailer… to see the vet for… injections.

But here's the catch, (there's always a catch…) Fixing your animal is really only caused by a change in YOU, not by a change in him. So if you're ready to consider that big idea, I'd like to welcome you to a world where anything and everything is possible. Nervous? No need to be. New ideas are only worth while if they add to who you are and what you already know. If any teacher, system, or institution expects you to abandon previously held beliefs in exchange for theirs, no good can come of it. Is it difficult? The only pain you'll feel is like the pain of letting go a tight grip on a rope. The more white your knuckles, the more work it takes to loosen your death grip. But have no fear, the feeling will come back …in spades.

Traditional "Consistency"
What trainers, teachers, parents, and managers usually mean by consistency is this… Don't cave! When you make a rule, be firm. No dessert 'till you eat your veggies. When you ask the dog to sit, don't let up till he sits. Take your training seriously and do it often to keep the dog in good practice. Well… consistency surely is for trainers. But being present- that's the realm of the teacher.

In my world, consistency is the downfall of the human- animal (brain to brain) relationship. Here's why.
" Consistency means reliable sameness, standard approach, dependable context, and yet, we really want flexibility.
" Consistency sometimes also means a payoff for every good move and yet "owed gifts" seems an oxymoron.
" Consistency often means nose to the grindstone or frequency of training, and yet you glance at your watch because repetition is boring for everyone; it breeds resentment and avoidance, and teaches the animal for sure…to get the hell outa Dodge.

In my opinion consistency should only be applied in one very abstract yet poignant fashion -- our presence. Your presence is "where you are"… Our bodies in space, our decision to exist, our ability to say 'I am right here' This horse, dog, child, person, has no impact on that. Ninety percent of life is, in fact, just showing up. I call it being present. My dislike of the idea of consistency is NOT due to semantics or a twist of technicalities; it takes some thinking to see the difference here… so let's make it concrete with a horse.
Example: The Horse

A horse refuses to get on a trailer. This particular horse isn't too afraid; he just doesn't want to go…. (The trembling horse- my favorite kind, is for another article.) You all know this story inside and out so I won't go into all of the systems and contraptions that are bought and taught to desperate owners. But even if you don't believe it, leather and metal are not as smart as your horse. A soft lead and loose halter are all that's ever needed, no chains please, and lose the gloves too- they ruins your ability to feel. You know you can't win a "tug of war" with a ½ ton beast. That rope between you feels more like a "tug of will" to you anyhow

So now, I claim that you being present is all it takes for the horse to end up in the trailer. Being present only means that when I say X, I won't stop saying X until I decide to. "And nothing you do, Mr. Horse, will change that." If you craftily negotiate me into saying Y when I want to say X, my autonomy has fizzled. Being present has nothing at all to do with what you the horse does or doesn't do about it. Mr. Horse, I can't change you, cause you, or make you happen. I can only decide what I want to say before and after you do whatever it is that you'll do.

Here's the physical translation: this lesson is more for you than for your horse, so self loading is for another day. Assuming you feel safe being inside the trailer, being present equals 2 pounds of pressure on the rope (about the weight of a small melon) no matter what. Pressure is not a pull. A pull is a vector of changing force over distance. Do not pull. Now, whatever the horse does about this is his business. Your business is keeping the 2 lbs. At this point, any horse worth his tug-of-will salt will lean down on that halter and go to sleep. Now, momentarily you should add a pound for 3 lbs total and the horse will wake up and pull back hard on that rope so that, all told, there's now 20 pounds of pressure on the line which is your 2 plus his 18- but guess why… because you let him negotiate you into changing your mind- he yelled "Hold 20!", and you did. Being present means holding 2 lbs and only 2 lbs. So why again are you holding 20? Ok, let out a deep breath, kick the dirt if you have to blow off your steam, and now just let that rope slide between your fingers through 10 lbs and 5 until you're back at 2 pounds. Whatever the horse does about it is his business, not yours. This horse will back up a bunch until all of a sudden he'll be embarrassed for backing for no reason and trip over himself to stop. We're using two pounds because how much trouble can we get in with 2 pounds? If there's trouble, use half a pound.

Now (if you're a good teacher) you will let your horse experiment. He pulls off the ramp to the right and what does he get? 2 lbs of pressure. He jumps off to the left? 2 lbs (just watch his eyes on the door hinge bolts). If he turns sideways and leaves the scene? 2 lbs. Whatever- the more the merrier- he is learning all the while that none of this monkeying makes 2 lbs get better or worse unless, and now come the magic beans- unless YOU decide to drop the weight. You have the option to let that rope go loose, and that is a very powerful position to be in. Note: Contrary to popular belief, it's not your horse's job to loosen the slack by giving in to the pressure; it is YOUR job to loosen the slack every time. You must beat him to the punch. In this lesson, I suggest dropping the weight (moving your hand out toward him) for 3 seconds (or the time it takes for one deep breath) every time his chest moves at all toward the inside of the trailer. If it helps, secure a "line referee" to watch nothing but the line. Have her call out every instance the line goes to zero pounds so you become aware of what you are approving of in your horse. A few trial and error moves and the horse will begin to bounce off the end of the rope, coming forward on the bounce. Long line big game fishing should work the same way. Apply this on and off toggle switch well, and your horse will be loading in a smidgeon of the time it took to fight with him.

Now, let's revisit the idea of traditional consistency because all people need to ask the same question multiple ways before they can digest the answer. Should I now put him on and off 50 times? No. Skills are ONLY honed by throwing in variety, not repetition; your horse knew that when he tried every angle imaginable. So to hone, be as haphazard with your clear requests as humanly possible, and change your mind midstream at every opportunity. Can you both stop to tie your shoe midway while backing off the trailer? No? 2 pounds. Be slow and quiet and safe. If not safe, change your mind- pick a safe goal. Autonomy is good stuff.

To solve your problem, all you have done is taken a 2 lb stance, and not been dragged into the proverbial mud which only happens if you hold too tight the "rope of will". As far as your horse goes, what's really important here is that he has solved his own problem which is a kind of learning that only strengthens over time. This lesson has made the horse smarter-because he was thinking and growing neurons, safer-because he now knows how to navigate the ramp safely from every conceivable angle, and oh yes, he is more transportable. My favorites are the horses who prefer to start self loading with a tail visible in the driver's side view mirror. They climb over the highest, steepest part of the ramp and apply an uphill hair pin turn that would make Lance Armstrong cry. Why do they pick that way over all others? I dunno, that's their business, not mine. I think it's because they can.

Closer to Home…The Curse of Consistency with People.

Not yet convinced that consistency is trouble?

Scenario: You have a 9 am meeting every Monday with the boss. It's 9. Half of the group is on time- the other half is late. Boss blows up and then makes a plan. He's a nice guy, and he tries 9:30 since that's when people actually show. Now everyone starts arriving at 10. Yielding brings everyone to the lowest common denominator. If Boss is a "good manager," most coaches will tell you, he'll start meeting at 9 anyway, and make people have to deal with the consequences of coming late and being out of the loop. That'll teach 'em! But guess what he's just created: victims… dunce-cap- wearing, corner-sitting martyrs. And not only that, he did himself one worse, he also taught everyone who was there at 9 to make sure they come later next time, because today, they were shot messengers, caught in the middle. Will they deal with crud from both ends next time? Not on your life. They'll start coming in latest or calling out sick.

So, bring in the behaviorists: mild pressure proponents like the Western trainers would start the meeting at 8:50 and ten minutes earlier every morning until they cave. The best of them would start at 8:59. Positive reinforcers would bring donuts for everyone coming in at 9, and that works for now but next week the 9-ers may demand crullers as a bonus for consistency.

I would turn the meeting into a moving target, meeting at completely random times from now on until everyone demands a set time and 9 is the only one I'll show for. Now 9 AM is their invention; they solved their OWN problem. If it slacks off in the future, one shot of random options and problem solved.

Dunce-cap-wearing, corner-sitting martyrs:
Dunce Corner is actually a seat of substantial power. It taps the power of the martyr, it's the Obey wan position. "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine…" I have been stripped of power, and the responsibility for both of us now weighs heavily on YOUR shoulders alone. And guess who's now responsible for my utter lack of positive usefulness…? YOU ARE. Happy now?

Stripping free will and voting power does NOT work because guess what you've just done- you just took their freedom to make the right decision AWAY. Secondarily imposed consequence, as a categorical rule, doesn't really teach anything useful except that it teaches the industrious observer how to manipulate the system.

Detach instead. A detachment is not the silent treatment and it is not walking away. It is only being present how I choose no matter what you do about it. Detachment takes the victim status off the table and you are not providing any fuel for any fires. When there's no one to argue with, everyone agrees- it's just easier that way- because all of a sudden they're embarrassed for pulling back for no reason. And now that you are not all tangled in that rope of will, when your horse, student, child, employee has something important to say, you are finally now in a position to be able to hear it. So perk up your ears. They have alot to say.